


behind closed doors

by Yienenthusiast



Category: Monsta X
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Domestic Violence, M/M, are we even surprised, this story is nothing but angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 03:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12696789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yienenthusiast/pseuds/Yienenthusiast
Summary: Trigger warning: Abuse of alcohol, domestic violence, verbal and physical abuse, death.





	behind closed doors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [No one](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=No+one).



> This is my first one shot and I'm so sorry if it's absolute garbage.  
> Two songs to listen to while reading if interested:  
> "I don't know why." Ft Star cast  
> "Suicide." James Arthur

Kihyun wasn't a bad person, he most certainly wasn't a bad boyfriend; but that didn't stop his ribs from hurting, or his face from stinging.  
Bottle after bottle, the pink haired boy knew what his night was going to consist of, his boyfriend, Hoseok spiraling out of control using him as his own personal punching bag.  
But Hoseok loved Kihyun; right?

It wasn't always like this, it's rarely like this, but Kihyun knows it's not right, he knows his boyfriend doesn't mean any of it, he just gets in the way of him most of the time and it isn't anyones fault.

The first night this happened, it was exactly three years ago.  
Hoseok relapsed and wasn't having a good day, Kihyun walking in trying to comfort the older, quickly being accused of cheating, the younger shot that idea down, resulting into Hoseok calling him several degrading names and a slap to the face.  
Falling down to the floor, the room became still; quiet enough to hear a pin drop, it was the beginning of a tragedy, behind closed doors. 

Waking up to fresh bruises all over his pale skin was never a shocker to Kihyun, getting up to start his morning applying mountains of makeup to cover up the ugly truth.  
Hoseok always apologized, blamed it on his horrible drinking habits and for kihyun being "too fragile."   
Except, now the bruising is being caused when the older is sober, the pain being guaranteed every morning, afternoon, and night.  
—  
Timing was key for Kihyun, never be late, get Hoseok what he wants, when he wants it, how he wants it. Never ask questions, never say no, never tell a soul.  
Love is blind, because despite being covered head to toe in bruises, cuts, bandages, kihyun loved the times where Hoseok was gentle with him, when his boyfriend actually cared for him, and wanted the best for him; Kihyun couldn't leave, Hoseok was his muse, nothing could change that.   
—  
"He loves you, you love him, you're okay, calm down." Thought kihyun as he ran to the guest room of his boyfriends house. It was another one of those episodes of rage, Hoseok snapped, all because kihyun told him his friends invited him out for drinks that following night.  
"kihyun-ah, you know how much I can't stand your friends." explained Hoseok, un clenching his fists, "they don't care for you like I do, they don't even care about you, can't you see that? They never come around, they never check up on you, what makes you think you can leave me for them all of a sudden?"   
Noticing his boyfriend getting more hostile, Kihyun proceeds to open the door and face him.  
"Of course not baby, I love you more than anyone." Reassuring the older, "But they just want to hang out, one night, that's all, and I can come back, we can lay down and watch movies, okay?" letting that all out, Kihyun didn't know what to expect, he closed his eyes as his boyfriend approached him, wondering what way he was going to leave a mark, was he going to insult him, or punch him.   
It turned out to be neither, Hoseok brought the younger into his embrace and kissed him softly on the neck, rubbing his hand on the back of Kihyun's hair, the other hand placed beautifully on his lower back.  
It was times like this where it was all worth it, kihyun knew Hoseok loved him, no amount of bad actions could take away from that. 

"I love you baby, don't ever forget that." Hoseok whispered, kissing his boyfriend on the forehead and running his thumb on the younger's lips.  
"I love you more Hoseok, I love you more than you know."   
—  
Kihyun hasn't been out with friends in such a long time, he's surprised Hoseok didn't throw a bigger fit, but he'll worry about him when he gets back.   
Applying as much makeup as he can to cover every visible spot, he kissed his boyfriend goodbye and headed out the door to meet his six best friends at the bar.   
—  
He was scared, "What if the boys notice my marks?" "What if something happens and it ruins everything?" "But what if I want them to find out." Thought kihyun.  
So many different thoughts rushing through his head, putting up pros and cons, what needs to be done versus what he wants to happen. Pulling up into the parking lot, Kihyun knew exactly what to do, and the ending result was not going to be a pretty sight for anyone.   
—  
Noticing the rain that was slowly pouring down, Kihyun instantly came up with an idea.  
Bringing all of the boys out of the bar, into the now, pouring down rain, taking off his hoodie, rolling up his sleeves, and letting the rain wash away his makeup, confusion took over the boys, until their expressions changed, realizing the marks on the younger.  
His face began to sting, eyes becoming flooded by tears trying to break through, they knew, and it pained him to see how they looked so concerned, Kihyun's mind started rushing again, but he needed to make it stop, he needed his life back.  
—  
"Who did this to you?" Spat out Hyungwon, you could feel the rage and his blood boiling, all the boys brought Kihyun to his car so they could get out of the public eye and not to cause a scene.   
Crying more than he ever has, Kihyun answered, "H-Hoseok." letting more tears fall out.   
Everyone was taken back, no one would have guessed it was his own boyfriend who was hurting him.  
"Before he met me," kihyun explained, "Hoseok had a very bad drinking problem, the thing was, he told me he was clean, that he would never pick up another drink in his life, which was true, prior to this all, I never saw him pick up a single bottle." tears coming back, a lump in his throat, blocking him from going on.  
Placing his hand on Kihyun's back, rubbing it and reassuring him it was alright, and that they were all there for him, jooheon made it clear that he could continue whenever he wanted to.   
Barely being able to breathe, he went on despite feeling sick.   
"Then one night, he got fired from his job, it was his favorite thing to do in the world, but they were having problems and the company needed to let some people go, I hadn't heard from him all day, so I decided to check on him, I was worried and I had a spare key so I let myself in." Recollecting his breath, he continued. "I saw a bottle of alcohol in his hand, I can't remember what kind but I knew what it was, I ran to him and tried to comfort him, but he was out of it, started accusing me of cheating, and I would never cheat on Hoseok, I knew it was the liquor talking but I still tried to help, I denied everything he was saying against me and that's when he." Kihyun paused, he hasn't thought about this story since it first happened, he hates to re-live it, but the boys needed to know.  
Shownu bent down and hugged kihyun, "It's okay, we're here."   
After shownu backed away, he continued.   
"A-and that's when he slapped me, I fell straight to the floor and couldn't move, the man I loved, the man I was willing to give my life to, laid his hands on me, he said he didn't mean it, that he would never do it again, and I believed him." His facial expression went blank, staring at his hands, it was as if kihyun were out of tears, he was the one who was out of it for a change.  
—  
Wiping away Kihyun's tears, Hyungwon spoke. "How long has this been going on, kihyun?"   
No response, he couldn't speak, he was frozen.   
"Kihyun, please tell me how long this has been going on!" Cried out Hyungwon.  
"Three years! okay? Three years!"   
Hyungwon grabbed Kihyun, bringing him into his embrace tightly,   
"I'm so sorry, Kihyun. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but you can't go back, you can't keep getting treated like this, I love you, we all love you, but we can't let you go back to that."   
Everyone was crying, no one could imagine how much pain Kihyun has been through, nor how anyone could ever hurt someone as caring as Kihyun, it was a lot to take in, but Hyungwon was right, he couldn't stay there, he couldn't go back.   
After everyone calmed down, kihyun spoke up again.  
"I actually have a plan, but I need you guys with me for me to do it."   
"Of course," stated Shownu, "What is it?"  
"I just need to go get some of my stuff I leave over there when I sleepover, I'm going to talk to him and tell him what I'm going to do, but I need you guys there just incase he tries to hit me again, he has a short temper and all this news", tilting his head down, whispering "it won't go good for me if I'm alone."   
Changkyun flashed a warm smile.   
"We'll drive behind you, we'll always be here for you."   
With that, they all hopped into their cars, once Kihyun reached his, he couldn't believe what he was about to do.  
—  
As kihyun pulled into his boyfriends drive way, he texted the boys letting them know he'll be okay and to wait outside, with that he wiped away his tears, it was time to leave, to feel happy again.  
Knocking on the door made him sick, everything from this point will change everything.  
Hoseok opened the door, excited to see kihyun, he brought him into the apartment and kissed him. Hey, baby, how was your night out with the boys?" The older asked playing with the younger's hair.  
"It was great, it was really fun, nice seeing them after so long." Barely being able to say anything without losing it, Hoseok noticed, moving to the couch and sitting his boyfriend down, Hoseok was concerned.  
"Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?"   
It was time, Kihyun had to let him know.  
"Hoseok, I can't stay."  
Looking confused, the older needed to know what he meant exactly.  
"Stay for the night? That's fine, you can go back to your place, babe I understand."  
Kihyun started crying again, "No, Hoseok, I mean with you, I can't be with you anymore." He let out.  
There was a long pause, and that scared kihyun more than anything. 

"You think you can just, leave me?" Yelled Hoseok, grabbing kihyun by the arm.  
"Look here, bitch, I don't think you understand what you're saying, but I know for damn sure you will not be leaving, why would you? I'm all you have, just admit it, your life is meaningless without me and you know it."   
Something in Kihyun snapped, a side he wasn't used to, but he decided to put it into good use.   
Snatching his arm from Hoseok, he began to let it all out.   
"No, I'm not! Hoseok this is why I'm leaving, you've abused me for three years," starting to raise his voice, he continued, "Three years Hoseok, THREE, IMAGINE SOMEONE YOU LOVED WITH YOUR WHOLE BEING, ABUSED YOU FOR THREE YEARS, BECAUSE THEY COULDNT HOLD THEIR FUCKING LIQUOR OR TEMPER!"  
Coming closer to Kihyun, Hoseok grabbed him again, "ITS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, AND YOU KNOW THA-" cutting his boyfriend off, Kihyun protested, "THIS ISNT LOVE, HOSEOK, IM AFRAID OF YOU BECAUSE I DONT KNOW IF I'LL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE, EVERYDAY. EVERY FUCKING DAY IM TERRIFIED, BUT I STAYED BECAUSE I LOVED YOU!"   
"We can't keep doing this, I can't keep doing this, we're over, Hoseok, I truly wish you get help."   
Kihyun was taken back from his boyfriends action, he grabbed kihyun by his neck and pinned him against the wall.  
"If you leave me, I will ruin your life even more, got it? Me hitting you would be the LAST of your problems, got it? You belong to me, never forget that."   
Throwing punches, after punches, kihyun knew it was over.  
Hoseok let him go, causing him to drop to the floor, reminding him about the first time this ever happened.   
With his last steady breath, kihyun let Hoseok know what he truly is, "Y-you're a coward, nothing more, nothing less."   
Before the older could throw another punch, the door flew open, it was the boys, Except, it was too late.  
"Kihyun!" Yelled Hyungwon, pulling him outside the house and caring him outside, falling on the grass and placing Kihyun's body slowly on the grass.   
"It's going to be okay, it's going to be okay, you're going to be okay, the police are on there way, you're going to get help, I promise you, kihyun, please stay a little longer."   
Hyungwon was losing it, he couldn't lose Kihyun after getting him back after all these years.   
"I love you too, Hyungwon, I love you all so much, thank you." Smiled kihyun, quickly after, he became still.  
Tears falling, Hyungwon rocking kihyun in his arms, he was gone.  
"I'm sorry we didn't know sooner, I'm sorry we couldn't save you."   
Closing Kihyun's eyes, Hyungwon broke down, bringing him to his chest, uncontrollably crying, he couldn't stop. 

At the time of Kihyun's death, the boys were handling Hoseok, beating him as bad, if not worse, than he did to their best friend these past years, he wasn't going to jail untouched, that was certain.   
Not leaving Kihyun's side, Hyungwon kept him in his embrace as the ambulance and police rolled in, getting everyone out the house, the boys realized he was gone.   
—  
"He's dead guys, he's not coming back."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys slightly enjoyed it?   
> Honestly, I tried and I have a love hate relationship with this story, but I do plan on writing more so get ready for even more shitty stories :')


End file.
